Wow! It’s been a while…and I still suck!
It has been quite some time since I updated this page. I have been so busy with wedding stuff, that I have not even had time to think about this blog. I am still training. I have been training for about 4.5 months.
Not a lot has changed. I have lost about 15 lbs since I started training, bringing me to a total of approx. 50 lbs lost since I started my mission to health. My stamina has also increased tremendously. When I first started, I could not do the warm up. Now, I can do it, and usually without feeling too taxed afterward. I still feel like I suck daily. I also am having a really hard time rolling with new people, as in people I haven’t rolled with before. I am 100% comfortable rolling with Vlad, and if I only ever had to roll with him I would be a happy camper. However, I realize that this is not beneficial to Vlad or myself. So far, I have only rolled with him, and the 3 other females at the club, who are all substantially smaller than me (shorter and lighter).
I don’t know if other people have this problem, but the fear I have, this phobia of rolling with the guys at the club is over-powering. I have a daily struggle of whether to go to class that day, because I fear the words “find another partner”. I am usually the last one standing, all by myself.
I really enjoy doing this. I really want to stick with it, so I push myself to go. I just wish it would get easier.
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1bjgirl
wrote on 3 April 2009 at 12:03
Tell a joke
2slideyfoot
wrote on 6 April 2009 at 6:31
Yeah, its not fun when you’re forced outside of your regular sparring partner group. I’ve sometimes had the same issue myself, as normally the smallest person in the room (though I’m a guy, which makes things slightly easier).
Best-case scenario is that you have a chance to observe how somebody rolls (i.e., are they controlled, do they offer helpful advice afterwards, do they adjust to their partner’s level) before you spar with them.
If you don’t have that luxury, then pick whoever is closest to your size, then focus on staying as relaxed as possible, tapping early.
That way, you’ll be able to work out whether or not they’re controlled/helpful, and hopefully you’ll gain yourself another person to add to the ‘regular training partner’ group. Alternately, you’ll know to try and avoid them.
3Matt
wrote on 6 April 2009 at 7:21
Y’know, I am a guy, but I go through some of the same thoughts. I am coming up on a year of BJJ and am just now beginning to feel some gimmers of competence. I am both the oldest (will be 40 in september) and, usually, the smallest person in the class. However, rolling with bigger, stronger opponents has been good for me in that I feel like it has made me more technical. For the most part I am still getting tapped out left and right, but I have pulled off a few submissions here and there. Don’t be afraid of rolling with bigger, stronger people. It will up your game.
4Noelle
wrote on 6 April 2009 at 9:20
Thanks guys! It’s good to know I am not alone on this one.
5Joseki101
wrote on 30 May 2009 at 14:18
All of the above advice is excellent–and I thought this quote on Yahoo Answers was quite sophisticated:
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20090223225525AA3xwrK
Jû-jutsu *does* develop our confidence, and part of this experience is building our composure in the face of fear and struggle, often through uncomfortable sparring situations. One needs to push oneself.
*However*, I can think of a few people in my academy–a great place, I would hasten to add–whom I avoid sparring with as much as possible. It’s not that they are ‘bad’ guys, or such . . . it’s just I find their attitude to the activity is incompatible with my own. I think I was so afraid of being the dojo sissy, previously, but now I recognise it’s acceptable to just avoid such situations.